On forced petics mode, even if I'd rather take in calls. Indy wouldn't allow us though; since it's Sunday, kaunti lang ang calls, and we already have to share the call flow with other offices. Besides, the coaches are busy with the other wave's 1st SA. So, here I am. Being paid for doing nothing.

It sucks, actually.

We started taking in calls last Thursday, right after the memorable SA4 (at least memorable for me, he3) . Now I have 2 CFs and a pending SB. I would've gotten 3 CFs if only that old lady from the second day didn't cancel... oh well.

*****

Bad news of the week: Mr. Achacoso is married. Hay! Mananatili na lamang akong isang taga-hanga... Hay!

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I'm feeling a bit insecure today. Dunno why really. I never really cared if someone else is tagged as the "prettiest". Looks has always been the least in my list of achievements; I'd rather be known as the smartest any day. But I guess it's just normal, when you lose another crush. Oh well... I'd just have to deal.

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Planned to go to UST today, but moved on Friday. I thought walang pasok ngayon. Mali pala. ;

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Finished reading Cecelia Ahern's If You Could See Me Now and am giving it a 5 star rating. Was teary eyed all the way to the end, even if I never really had an imaginary friend. I often talk to myself, when I feel bad. I try to imagine that I'm actually speaking to the people or person concerned. I still do that sometimes. I guess that's my way of having 'invisible friends', as Ivan wanted to be referred to... ;p

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Gotta go. Baka mahuli pa. Di ko alam anong gagawin na namin...

Post Independence Day post....

Not as cheerful as I was yesterday. Left Mimi's book in the training room and asked Jen thru text to get it for me. Am not sure if she got the message, and if she did, if she got the book. This always happens to me when it comes to Mimi's books. When I borrowed Rosie Dunne a few years back, I accidentally left it in my paperback, which I left in the Council office. It was Paskuhan and I forgot to get my things, so when I got back, the office was locked already. Christmas break past me by without a book to read. Rosie Dunne stayed with me up until freshman year ended.

Now I misplaced her other book, If you could see me now. It's not only the fact that I lost it, its also the fact that it isn't mine. Now am cranky because I don't know where my book is. I wish Jenny gets here soon so I can know if I have more reason to worry...

******

I cried twice tonight. Same old reasons. Dad. College. Life. It was my way of trying to put myself to sleep, so now am sleepy and we'd have another SA. According to Si, its going to be the hardest of all.

*****

I really need to find something that can cheer me up. :

I got my wish!!!

Soooooooo HAPPY today!!!

I got a perfect score in the SA and a Very Good in the SD we just had today...

"AM BATTING A THOUSAND TODAY... THAT'S WHAT 11 HOURS OF SLEEP CAN DO FOR YOU!!! ;P"

Work again. Apparently, Elaine fell into deep sleep yesterday and forgot all about us. She was that tired, which is understandable. We'd have our 3rd SA later on, and I'm about 75% ready. Would have to practice again after this entry.

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Mom and I had a little argument earlier. Hinahatid pa rin niya kasi ako papasok, since it's still dark outside. 3AM call time ko so maraming lasing sa kalsada. Y'know! ;p

Anyway, we argued about her correcting me in my using kaya at the end of the sentence. We both have that as our pet peeve, but I wasn't in the mood in being critical. It just felt like she wasn't listening to what I was saying, but rather on how I was saying it, which made me feel disregarded. Oh well.

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Loving veoh.com! Have One Last Cry playing by Brian McKnight. He3

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Elaine and Dane, one of the coaches, had the demo call already. Sana mauna na ako para di na nakakakaba... Want to perfect this, if possible. ;p

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Later. Drawlots na.

Shift just ended. Waiting for Dawn. Watching Naruto AMV over at veoh.com. So cool. LOL

No SA today. Coaches out 6AM. Had charades to pass time while waiting for Elaine. Almost lost it, if not for Eos acting out Poltergeist and Pearl finally getting it. Worth 5 pts, so it was a draw. First time Dawn didn't lose... LOL... Elaine has new lesson later. Live calls start Wednesday. So scared. So excited. Not making sense, am I? Bear with me. Just saw Marc's pic in the RCI mag. So cute.. Been so long since I had a crush on someone... ;p

Khayzee and I share locker. Hafta bring lock tomorrow. Could finally leave things here... Less hassle. ;>

Less than 2 weeks more in training. Graduation on the 23rd. Can't wait. Pay day Friday. Tiange here we come! Ha3...

;o

I decided to have a complete make-over with the blog lay-out. Nakaka-antok na kasi yung gray. I found this template from createblog.com. Pretty cute, huh?!

Into week four of the five week training... Am at work right now actually. Two hours early, which just shows how anxious I am. (Or how stupid. I could've catch some sleep, instead of maximizing my free internet usage here in the pantry. Oh well.)

We'd have our 3rd SA later. Another role play. I'm almost sure that I can pass it. My goal is to at least perfect one SA, or if that's really asking for the impossible, at least an SD.

******

Tito Mike and his family left early yesterday morning. Ni hindi na nga kami nagkausap. For whatever reason, it always seemed as if the wives of my uncles have the upper hand. Now, mom's pretty dominating, and yeah, I never actually saw how she and dad communicated (having him in the States for most of my formative years, and his sudden passing while away from us), but I always felt that she and dad were on even ground. Hindi yung nagpapa-under ang isa sa kanila. I don't think dad would let him be undermined, the way Tito Mike was when Tita Alelie was around.

I wasn't able to speak to Noah, which is kinda sad. He's my first stranger for a cousin, and I'm afraid that the other cousins I have on the father side, would all wound up as strangers. Siguro kasi ganoon din ako sa mga magulang nila. It always felt as if, after dad died, that my connection to his family died as well... Great efforts are to be taken just so I can update them with the events in my life. And its hard, considering that they should be the people whom I can ask about dad, before he died.

But I guess a part in me isn't ready to let them in, because I see them as the people responsible for my father's sudden departure. They didn't take care of him...

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Am currently reading Cecilia Ahern's "If You Could See Me Now". I love it. The idea's so fresh, so exciting. I like the feeling that I am slowly being absorbed by a story without having my reality swamped by someone else's imagination. For once, after a long time, I am reading not to escape... but to seek out something new...

Whoa! How's that for poetic!? ;p

*****

Off to customize my friendster account. Later.

Writer's Block

I don't know why I'm finding it so difficult to write, when I have a lot to write about. For one, I passed both the Skills Assessments we had this week. I got 74/85 in the written SA3 and a 96/100 in the roleplay SA1. SAs are pretty difficult, and trainees are only given at least 3 times to fail (ie 3 strikes and you're out). I don't want to fail of course. I've never been good in failing.

Coach Marc is here reviewing us for the SA2 later today. Our trainer, Elaine, is still out sick. I've got no complains though; Marc is very cute. Dawn already told everyone I had a crush on him, but now everyone thinks she also likes Marc. It's all very high school-ish. I'm keeping my mouth shut because the work environment is different from what I am familiar with, so am trying to be mature. Dawn couldn't believe it when I told her that I am perkier than she is. I've been very un-Beryl here, which isn't all that hard. I guess having my wisdom tooth had affected my way of thinking and manners.

Marc's being manipulated by our bossy wavemate Jane, which isn't really new. She's very manipulative, demanding and its her nature to be that way. At first I found it a bit annoying, but now, I'm amused by it. I can be manipulative too if I want to be. And besides, no one can manipulate you without your consent. Wavemate Jenny, however, is very annoyed at her. I told her that if you don't like someone, you shouldn't put too much energy on disliking her. It just doesn't make sense. Besides, the person with the resentment carries the heavier baggage. Believe me, I know.

Elaine just arrived. She's been sick for the past two days. I have to finish this post fast. She gave us 25-minute break, because she plans to maximize the time today. I'd have to finish answering the workbook later. Wonder how am I going to do that, with Tito Mike, Tita Alelie and my stranger for a cousin Noah staying with us this weekend.

They arrived earlier today, while I was taking a nap. I don't really know how I am going to act around them. Emailing them is one thing; having actual conversations with them is very different. It's like we're talking, but not about the things we should talk about. That's how its always been with me and my paternal relatives, ever since dad died... But that's a story I prefer not to get deep into... It just makes me feel really down. And who wants to be down, right?

*****

Am watching One Tree Hill over at veoh.com. Season 3. Loving it.

I'm so glad I brought my binder with me. I was thinking that maybe Elaine wouldn't be in again, but I realize I can do the workbook here.

*****

Well, later.

A Stupid Question requires a Stupid Answer *ayt?

QUESTION: WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.

PLATO: For the greater good.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads. To actualizeits potential.

KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion. We werejustified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine there is no chicken, it's easy if you try...

HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.

NEIL ARMSTRONG: "That's one small crossing for a chicken, one giantleap for chicken-kind. "

GOETHE: Es irrt das Huhn, solang es die Straße übergeht.

HAMLET: To cross, or not to cross, that is the question: - Whether'tis nobler in the mind, to suffer; The slings and arrows ofoutrageous side; Or to take arms against a road of troubles,

DAVID COPPERFIELD: I made the chicken disappear and reappear on theother side.

ISAAC NEWTON: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens inmotion tend to cross the road.

KARL POPPER: To disprove the hypothesis that chickens could not crossroads.

DARTH VADER: To get to the Dark Side.

OPRAH WINFREY: He was reacting to a repressed traumatic caponisationin his childhood which he will now share with us in detail.

ARTHUR, KING OF BRITONS: To seek the Holy Grail.

IMMANUEL KANT: The chicken, being an autonomous being, chose to crossthe road of his own free will.

OBI-WAN KENOBI: Because the force was with it.

YODA: Wants to cross the chicken because

LUDWIG VON BEETHOVEN: What? Speak up.

JOHN LOCKE: Because he was exercising his natural right to liberty.

GREGOR MENDEL: To get various strains of roads.

NIETZSCHE: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Roadgazes also across you.

GEORGE ORWELL:Because the government had fooled him into thinking thathe was crossing the road of his own free will, when he was really onlyserving their interests.

THE POPE: That is only for God to know

RASTAFARIAN: There were grass on the other side mon.

SAPPHO: Due to the loveliness of the hen on the other side, more fairthan all of Hellas' fine armies.

JEAN PAUL SARTRE: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself,the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

OJ SIMPSON: You'd run too, if you had just killed two people and triedto frame an inoccent man

BF SKINNER: The external influences which had pervaded its sensoriumfrom birth caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would bedriven to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of itsown free will.

STALIN: I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omelette.

MAE WEST: I invited it to come up and see me sometime.

DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickenswill be free to cross roads without having their motives called intoquestion.

LUDWIG WITTGENSTEIN: The possibility of "crossing" was encoded intothe objects "chicken" and "road," and circumstances came into beingwhich caused the actualization of this potential occurrence.

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How manymore chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

DANA SCULLY: It was a simply bio-mechanical reflex that is commonlyfound in chickens

ZENO: To prove it could never reach the other side.

RICHARD NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, thechicken did NOT cross the road.

RENE DESCARTES: It had sufficient reason to believe it was dreaminganyway.

CHARLES DICKENS: Tis a far, far better road than chicken has e'er crossedbefore.

MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who careswhy? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

SIGMUND FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chickencrossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

SHERLOCK HOLMES: It was running to catch the Edinburgh train atVictoria Station at 3:15, my dear Watson. Observe the patina of duston the dropped feathers, bespeaking long hours in a library, surelyreading about Scotland. Remark the Baker Street boys' report that itwas humming "Bonnie Lassie" while waiting to cross. Note the ticketstub marked Edinburgh. Of course, we both know the only train toEdinburgh leaves at 3:15 from Victoria...

DAVID HUME: Out of custom and habit.

CARL JUNG: The confluence of events in the cultural gestaltnecessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historicaljuncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrencesinto being.DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with atoad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've notbeen told!

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will belistening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarmingstory of how it overcame a serious case of molting and went on toaccomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

VOLTAIRE: I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defendto the death its right to do it.

JACK NICHOLSON: 'Cause it (Bleep!) wanted to. That's the (Bleep!) reason.

TS ELIOT: Weialala leia / Wallala leialala.

LEDA: Leda: Are you sure it wasn't Zeus dressed as a chicken? He'sinto that kind of thing, you know.

JOHN MILTON: To justify the ways of God to men.

THE SPHINX: You tell me.

JULIUS CAESAR: To come, to see, to conquer. It came, it saw, it conquered.

JACQUES DERRIDA: What is the *difference* ? The chicken was merelydeferring from one side of the road to other. And how do we get theidea of the chicken in the first place? Does it exist outside of language?

OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross theroad?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time,whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

CHARLES DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have beennaturally selected and evolved over time in such a way that they arenow genetically endowed with the capabilities required to cross roads.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the roadmoved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

BUDDHA: Asking

EPICURUS: For fun.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road. It transcended it.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.

ROBERT FROST: To cross the road less traveled by.

BILL CLINTON : I did not, repeat, did not have sexual relations with thechicken.

JOSE RIZAL: It crossed the road so that it sees the dawning of lightin ourMotherland.

MIRIAM DEFENSOR-SANTIAGO : Aha! I know it! That chicken crossed theroad to provoke me. I move to permanently hold in contempt thatchicken. I requestfor a restraining order, your honor, so that the chicken would not be ableto cross the road again!

RAMON REVILLA: I concur, your honor. You see, may timbangan ako ngmanok sa bahay. Doon ko nga nalaman na 96 grams ang 1000 na bills ng1000 pesos to make 1 million pesos. See 96 grams? 96 grams talaga!Malapit yun sa isang kilo...eh sa 96 grams talaga eh...Pero huwag nyoakong tanungin kung ilang kilo ang manok na nagcross ng road.

BAYANI AGBAYANI: Para mag-ocho-ocho!

KRIS AQUINO: It may be many things, but it's still a chicken.

MELANIE MARQUEZ: Don't judge the chicken 'coz he is not a book.

*from TeenTalk post by pach.

4 Hours Sleep

I only four hours of sleep and I cherished every minute of it!

Shift ended 7 AM yesterday, with only a quarter of the class getting their SDs finished. We had our SA early in the evening. I swear, its the worst when you try to review your answers based on others' answers, when neither of you know if you're correct or not. So I'm just going to let go of the SA and wait for the results. Feeling ko naman pasado ako e... *crossfingers.

We'd have the SD4 tonight. Haven't practiced yet, after this post na lang. LOL

After the shift, Toni, Dawn and I went to Carriedo to get our NBI Clearance. Toni already had his so he only had to renew. My God, ink is so IN there! Hahaha!

About two hours or so we were done. (My NBI picture would forever haunt me, BTW.) I went ot UST afterwards to meet up with Mimi and Aileen. We had lunch at the San Mig Food Shop within campus and mom also arrived with my LOA, so I got to file that. Only had to have it marked recieved at the dean's office, and am off. I was planning to get my clearance as well, but there were going to release it at 1:30 PM pa, so I decided to go back na lang sa Thursday.

Lumagpas pa ang LRT ko kanina dahil nakatulog na ako sa antok. I was moving in daze, not really aware of my actions. When I got home, I showered, fixed my stuff for tonight and went zzzing...

Boj woke me up by 8PM and now I am here. Mom still had to take me; she's very protective that way, which is okay.

*****

Mimi lent me two new Cecilia Ahern books. I would never be able to read any of books if I wasn't friends with Mimi --- their super expensive! I can't wait for the release of the movie version of C.A.'s "PS I love You" starring Hilary Swank. I love that book, the story's really great.

This makes me think about the free movie night this month. We can now partake in this, thank God! Wonder what the film would be... I'm betting it'd be Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, but that might just be wishful thinking... LOL

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We'd start by 11 PM. Have 45 minutes to review... Wish me luck okay!?

Short Hair

Its times like this that I wish I have a camera phone to call my own!

I had my hair cut super short last Saturday, right after Dawn, Toni and I got off work. It wasn't supposed to be this short, but I told the stylist I want it short, manageable and sophisticated. It's kinda difficult to get used to, especially since I've always wanted to have my hair long, being a short-haired kid all my life.

But considering the numerous changes I've been going through this past month, I guess having short hair can be considered a mature act on my part, no matter how farfetched it may sound. I guess its kind of funny to compare maturity and lenght of hair, but what the heck? I'm feeling crazy tonight.

Am at work btw. My officemates are now reviewing for our very first SA. Toni has my reviewer. I swear, I'm going to regret not catching some sleep earlier. Oh well, at least I got updated with One Tree Hill and Saturday Night Lights. *I caught an episode of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. The f***ing ending was hanging and now I don't know if I'd ever see how it ended. Argh!

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Another sad news: NO ONE'S VISITING MY WHO'S WHO THREAD IN TTALK!!! HUHUHU!!!

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Question: What would you do if you win 130M from the lottery? I wonder what that person from Cebu would do with the sudden downpour of money that God or whatever Higher Being out there, had given him/her?

Siguro kung ako iyon, iyak-tawa ako ng isang buong linggo. Buwan pa nga siguro e.

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Gotta go and review. Wish me luck!

The Return of the Comeback

I'm back to Teentalk!

UN: beryllium

So happy with this that I'm linking my Who's Who thread here. CLICK

Last day of work for the week.
Plan to get my haircut.
Got my pay, finally.
Asked for new card.
PROMISETOMEMORIZETHEPINTHISTIME!!!

Off to post, even if shift's over.

Stressed Out!

I'm soooooo stressed out! I've just finished my third skill developer and it is, by far, the hardest SD I ever had. And that says a lot, considering I only had three. The stressful thing about is that I know what to do, only I can't do it correctly. Yet. Am not giving up thought. Not yet, anyway. (Joke!)

It's just that I wasn't able to enjoy the SD, unlike how I enjoyed it in the first two times. I felt out of control and crazy, my heart beating so fast and I feel hot and cold all at the same time. It's really hard to define, the sensation of being put to test, but all I can say is that I didn't like it. Not with this SD anyway.

(BTW, SDs are basically role play practices wherein the coaches will try our knowledge in navigating and communicating with the customers aka RCI members at the same time. I really like it, because you don't go dumb with the process. But its soooo freaking stressful!!! One wrong click and if you don't know where to go, you might just make a big and unresolvable mistake.)

This is the only SD I wasn't able to build rapport. I actually feel as if I went head-first down my table of progress and that only adds to the stress.

As if it isn't enough, I have a big problem with my ATM card. I don't remember the pin I typed yesterday after changing the pin given by the bank. I was too sleepy to think that I need to remember my pin. So I would have to go to the bank later, to fix it and be able to withdraw all the money. I'd be moving it into my other account and giving 3T to mom. I also want to have my haircut shorter and hassle free, which I know I'd regret but what the heck! Am stressed.

At least, with all this stress with work, I've got no more energy in stressing about other things... The silver lining in the big, ugly, gray cloud looming over my head...